When I travelled to London last week, I decided to make good use of my time and listen to a Tony Robbins video on self-love.
And his quote ties in nicely to my next insight I had with my foster kitties.
“Happiness is equal to or greater than our expectations”
You see when we have expectations, if life exceeds those, then of course we are happy, life is buzzing, and we feel emotions like joy, happiness, love, etc. We.are.on.fire!! 🔥
When we have expectations and life DOESN’T match up to those, then often we feel the more negative emotions (sadness, anger, fear, depression, etc. ), although they are not negative really because they are teaching us something.
So take the example of my foster kitties:
When they came to me, it was on a long term foster agreement, but with the intention of me having them here for their lifespan, because their Mum was moving very far away and felt it was in their best interest for them to remain here with someone else they could learn to love. <3
Things changed and so my expectations of having them here until they passed away weren’t met.
Now, I have cared for cats before for friends, relatives, neighbours, on short term fosters and although you’re a little sad to see them leave, you find a peace that they are back home and where they belong again and are happy for them. Now don’t get me wrong, I did feel that with these lads.
So what was different….expectations.
My expectation was greater than the end result which led to sadness and grief. But it was also a gift as well. A gift for me to see that I was pouring love into these beauties, with no regrets, yet I had concerns of what I would do with all that love when they went.
Well, I needed to give that to me.
To tell myself ‘you’re beautiful. I love you’.
To make sure I play and have fun, and get cuddles (yes I do hug myself if my inner child needs a hug!)
To make sure I eat the right foods, and get out in nature and begin to do the things my inner child would like to do more of. She is highly intelligent and needs mental stimulation, not a TV, but books, books and more books. She needs variety, new things to discover, and she needs purpose and connection. She is highly tuned in, more than I ever realised!
So what can you do about expectations and the way they make you feel?
You either accept what you cannot change – locate the feeling, feel it, let it go, and keep finding positive memories or views around the situation, keep learning.
Or via Tony Robbins: change the original expectations; or you see where you are falling down on meeting those expectations, if they are realistic , and what you can do about it, and start putting that in to action!